With shows like Indian Matchmaker, Mulan, This is Us, Millionaire Matchmaker + more. Matchmaking has become the newest “trend” in the dating world.
So what exactly is a Matchmaker?
A Matchmaker is responsible for assisting clients with finding a match. As a matchmaker, I do this by interviewing clients to determine their criteria for a partner, getting to know anything that is hindering their current dating strategy and personally reviewing candidates to present to clients, then following up to see how the date went, get feedback and coach along the way.
Why would someone hire a Matchmaker?
Some people cannot put themselves on dating apps as they are in high-profile jobs or it’s for professional and personal reasons. They need more confidentiality, or some people have been out of the dating game for a very long time, maybe they are going through a divorce so they don’t know where to start.
Or it could be simply that you are frustrated with online dating apps, and you want a more personalized service.
So What is the difference between a Matchmaker and online dating?
No incomplete bios, No narcissistic shuffling through shirtless selfies, you won’t get one word responses from people who are filtering through hundreds of people on multiple apps. You won’t be one card in a stacked deck anymore.
What to expect when working with a Matchmaker?
Personalized service- every client looks different depending on the needs they have. I know that no two clients are the same so why would I treat them all the same. You can expect quality over quantity. You won’t get 100 profiles at one time like you would on an online dating app, plus once a match is found your Matchmaker will screen them, ensure they are a good fit compatibility wise and so the process takes time. You cannot expect overnight success.
The investment, is it worth it?
You invest in the right foods to nourish your body, invest in a trainer for the gym for physical needs, invest in a therapist, invest in self care, invest in travel but rarely invest in relationships which I feel is the most important of all these things since the person you spend your life with is going to impact all of these other areas in your life.
How to choose the right Matchmaker or agency to work with?
There is so many bad Matchmaking Agencies out there, so be careful when choosing who to work with.
A Few things I would look out for would be:
1.) Are the making a bunch of false promises. Saying things like we have this specific number of people in our database that would be right for you.
Why you should watch out for this: Their database should be growing consistently therefore within the time frame there should be more options. Also just because they are in the database doesn’t mean they are a match which is why there is pre screening and ensuring a good fit between the two of you.
2.) Are you talking to a sales rep or are you talking to your Matchmaker?
a sales rep’s job is to sell you on something which means they may be giving you unrealistic expectations, I also believe that a Matchmaker client relationship needs to be a partnership between the two of you so how do you know that you and your Matchmaker will get along if you have never met your Matchmaker. do you trust the person. How can you trust them with something so big in your life if you have never spoken to them
3.) Are they agreeing with everything you are saying, challenge them with this to see if they are just trying to sell you.
Just like if you hired a Personal Trainer you would want them to challenge you, the same could be said about a Matchmaker. If they aren’t challenging you nothing will change. You may have patterns of behaviour that aren’t working for you and you need someone to be able to be authentic, genuine and honest in the process of it.
4.) Are they doing more talking than listening.
It is important for for your Matchmaker to listen more than be heard. They should be actively listening, speaking without any guards up, and offering assistance when needed.
Three things to do to ensure success when working with a Matchmaker.
- Be patient. Dedicate the length of the membership to learn more about yourself, what you need in a partner, and attracting that right person into your life when you finally do meet him or her.
- Be open to possibilities. Throw out your checklist that requires your match to be 6 foot tall with golden, brown eyes. Your ideal partner may only be 5”11 with hazel eyes.
- Be optimistic. People who are the most open-minded and optimistic have the highest success rate. This follows the law of attraction; you attract what you think, say, and feel. If you believe you will meet the right one, you have already increased your odds.Well I hope I have answered all of your questions when it comes to the Matchmaking world, if you have any farther questions don’t hesitate to reach out to me on IG at @Missapplesmatchmaking or contact me through my website at missapples.ca